Moving on. This is what this year is all about. It’s nearly one month into the year 2010 with February fast emerging. How have I cope with life after marriage?

I have to say that it is not easy battling loneliness when I’m are so used to having someone by my side always. Everyday without failed, I will think of her, my ex-wife, of what is she doing currently & so on. Basically, I miss having a loving family by my side. A wife & daughter to love me unconditionally. I admit I am mising them so much to a point that I cried thinking about it instantly.

However, so many things have happened this month alone. I was swarmed with lots of work,  my company’s activities & my personal life. I’m practically juggling time with tons of work in school, my cluster leader job & weekends with my daughter. I went crazy at daily basis & I know this has to stop!

After much thinking & evaluating the situation, I decided to step down my role as Cluster Leader so that I’m able to focus more on my school’s work & my daughter. Things are getting better now. Sometimes I wonders to myself to why I accepted the post in the first place. Later I realised that it has to do with my divorced.

The thing is subconsciously, I took up the role so that I can keep myself busy & not thinking about the pain & sorrows of my divorced. Now I know it’s a wrong move by me. In fact, I got depressed because of it. My moral was so low that I wasn’t eager to go to work anymore. This is unlike me so I know I have to let go of it even though I know I will lose the allowance for the post. I don’t care & wants my self esteem back badly.

Moving on is a slow process. I will be selling the house next month or so. I will then move back to my old place in Woodlands temporarily for 2 years before getting my own house again when I reach the age of 35.

It will be another busy months ahead with moving house & those annoying HDB procedure appointments etcs.. Arrg..

I know I need to put in more effort on realising that my ex-wife won’t come back to me anymore & I really need to move on if I ever want happiness in my life. It won’t be easy to stop loving her but I know I have to in order to get on with my life. After months of efforts in forgetting her, I’m still not able to find a way & failed miserably.

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