I don’t know why but I feel like writing this in my blog. I’ve noticed lately that the love we have for each other is huge. By the way, I’m not refering to MWR (Man Woman Relationship (haha)). I’m actually refering to my daughter. Let me explain further.
The past few weekends with Sheza has been a roller coaster ride for both of us. I’ve been strict with her about discipline & have been scolding her for the mistake she had made so far. As much as I don’t like to show my stern or disapointment face, I know I need to for her own good.
I don’t know how the other kids around her age reacted when they get a scolding from their parents. In my school, when I scolded a child, normally they get scared or unbothered & most don’t show any sadness at all.
I find Sheza’s reaction a little different somehow when compared with the kids at my school. But really, it’s also quite unfair to compare Sheza with the kids in my school because my relationship with Sheza grows from the day she was born. She had known me as a loving person who seldom scold her.
There’s always this fear that the more I scolded her, the lesser she would want to spend time with me. After weeks of scolding as well as showing care & concern, that fear doesn’t exist anymore. I was wrong. We are closer than ever.
For example, today incident, I scolded her for refusing to go to sleep as it is already midnite. She had insisted in watching the tv. I was so angry that I switch on the lights, turn on the tv & increase the volume. I’ve raised my voice & tell her to sit up straight & go watch her precious tv show. I was been sarcastic with her by doing that & hoping she can get the underlying message of my dissapproval. I then sit from a far at the corner of the bed with my black face & facing the other way.
Sheza did what I told her to do. She sit up straight but constantly looking at me looking for my approving look. I refused to look at her but at the corner of my eyes, I can see that she was still looking at me looking so sad than ever. At this particular moment, I realised she knows that I am angry & disappointed at her attitude. True enough, she sob & speak to me in a very sad tone, “Abah, I’m sorry. I love you Abah.” She then hugged me & repeatedly saying, “I love you Abah”.
The feeling of anger & disappointment that was earlier very high just dissappeared. My heart sank & filled with so much love that tears started to drop. I hugged her & said sorry to her. It hurts so much scolding a child that you love so much but it hurts even deeper knowing the child you scolded actually don’t wish to make you angry & disappointed in the first place & still have the initiative to say sorry & expressed her love for her Abah verbally to make the situation better for her & her Abah.
The bond between me & my daughter gets stronger everyday. She’s a very good girl & I thank Allah s.w.t for giving me & my ex wife such a wonderful loving daughter. I wish I can do more for her.
By the way, after that episode, she fell asleep on my chest as I wrapped her around my arm. It was really a touching emotional heart warming feeling that I’ve never felt before especially after the anger episode. Aria Sheza.. Abah love you soo muchhhh…….